Vegetarian Sushi with Marinated Vegetables
Sesame Crusted Crab Cakes with Wasabi Aioli
Tuna Tartar on a Rice Cracker with Avocado Cream and Caviar
Mini Pita Sandwiches with Curried Chicken Salad and Water Cress
Deviled Eggs Piped into Veggie Cups and Garnished with Spanish White Anchovies, Capers and Cornichon
Cheeze Whiz on Ritz Crackers Garnished with Fresh Chives ala Mr. X
The fundraiser kicked off swimmingly, with donations reaching nearly a half-million dollars for new cancer screening equipment for the local hospital. A string quartet played softly in a corner underneath a floating staircase and next to a Buddha sculpture dating back several thousands of years. Servers bustled around the growing crowd with trays of champagne and filed out of the kitchen with platters of tuna tartar and caviar, crab cakes, smoked whitefish mousse and sushi.
My new boss (the male half) looking stoic and serious in pressed khakis and a gold-buttoned, blue blazer stood talking to a group of other stoic and serious looking men and having what looked like a very serious, deeply engrossing, ever so important conversation. Meanwhile, I prepared a special horsdeouvre platter just for him – Ritz Crackers with Cheese Whiz, on a green glass tray with a garnish of chopped chives and and an arrangement of fresh flowers as the center piece.
“Bring this straight to Mr. X”, I told the server and watched him as he breezed across the room, parting the crowd like Moses parted the Red Sea, making a B-line to my new boss. Mr. X reached blindly over to the tray, then looked at what he had in his hand and then at the tray and burst out laughing, “Cristina, this is perfect!” he shouted from across the room and let out a roar of laughter, grabbing the tray from the server and passing them to everyone around. Soon he was in the kitchen, group of Cheese Whiz mongers in tow and with the empty tray in his hand, “See? It’s empty! Everyone loves Cheese Whiz! Got any more?”. Then he and the others made themselves comfortable at the counter squirting fluorescent yellow, processed cheese "product" onto Ritz crackers and popping them into their mouths… ACK!
As unlikely as it may sound, my new bosses are actually really into food, the “Mrs.” half of the equation was formerly a professional restaurant cook herself! But the Mr. warned me shortly after I started that although he loves good food, he too loves his Cheese Whiz, and his Redi Whip (and the Redi Whip was a whole other joke that lead to there now being 18 cans of Redi-Whip in the damn refrigerator! Where am I supposed to put the REAL food?). I told him that his obsession with spray food was fine as long as I didn’t find him huffing the cans in the back pantry… And ever since then, I have been finding every way possible to tease him about it.
Last week, in celebration of my accepting the position with them, Mr. and Mrs. X took me to lunch at their country club. And as we sat in the shade of the bright yellow umbrellas, overlooking Lake Michigan, eating club sandwiches and drinking Arnold Palmers, I pulled from my purse a can of Cheese Whiz and a package of Ritz Crackers and handed them to my new boss, telling him, “here, in case you aren’t happy with your lunch.”, which sent the table into a fit of hysterics – his family thoroughly appreciated my chiding.
But the fun will not stop here… When that yacht is launched, dear Mr. X will be finding Cheese Whiz in every conceivable place on the yacht; his medicine cabinet, next to his pillow at night, in the Emergency Overboard Bag… And I know they’ll laugh – because that’s just the kind of people they are. They appreciate a good smart-ass, which is great because I can be an excellent one. Like I said, I have THE BEST JOB EVER. I have every kitchen toy conceivable, can cook whatever my heart desires, and my employers are the nicest, most fun employers anyone could have. HA! I’m so lucky! I knew it would all work out…
Ok, soon, I will get back to some real writing… I have had a ton of fun making a real bread starter with wild yeast, making an excellent soft-serve Mexican chocolate ice-cream, cooking for some great parties and shopping at some amazing local farmers markets. Oh, and overseeing the design and build of the yachts galley of course…
More to come. Much, much more to come…
3 comments:
LOVE your writing! MR X.......waaaaaayyyyyy tooooooo fuuuunnnyyyyy!!!!!!! Tammy
who knew "cheez-whiz" could generate sooo much fun!
Good for YOU You are a fun loving women. It is so good when people find what they love to do and do it well as you do. Keep writing it is an adventure in it self to read.
J.P. Oregon
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