Thursday, April 20, 2006

When Bad Food Happens

The sauce for eggs benedict came from a packet and over and hour before the guests requested them the eggs were poached to the consistency of a Super Ball and the eggs benedict (if it could be called that) was plated, sauced and then reheated under the salamander, creating a crusty film over the sauce. The muffins for the bread basket came from a box of cake mix with candied blue specks shamelessly called "blueberry". The frozen croissants were undercooked and doughy.

I watched in horror as culinary tragedy after culinary tragedy unfolded before my eyes…

The theme for dinner the night the guests arrived was Mardi Gras and the table looked gorgeous with peacock feather masks, colorful beads and brilliant flowers. I was thinking Shrimp Etouffe, Gumbo, Bananas Foster, staples of New Orleans cuisine. But no, hacked up grilled chicken breast and fried shrimp served on brown lettuce leaves and garnished with a tomato and a sprig of parsley was passed off as “chicken and shrimp cocktail”. What the heck is chicken and shrimp cocktail?

The main course was “creamy noodles” with pan-seared mahi-mahi. Is this supposed to sound appetizing? Creamy Noodles sounds like a Rice-a-Roni flavor. The sauce came from a packet, not surprising since I never witnessed the chef actually prepare anything from scratch (the galley never even looked cooked in)! Even worse, the fish was seared off three hours before the 12 guests sat down at the dinner table! As this so-called chef plated he asked for my help in picking the seeds out of the giant chunks of lemon that were garnishing the plate. I could hardly contain my frustration as the rest of the crew (myself included) had run our butts off all day long preparing for the guests arrival as this guy sat in the crew mess surfing the web and couldn’t be bothered to pick the damn seeds out of his lemon “chunks”.

Dessert was “tempura bananas” with the chefs special touch – the “tempura” batter was the consistency of the white paste we used to eat in our third grade art class, topped with pistachio ice-cream that had fluorescent green lumps in it because the chef didn’t bother to properly mix in the cheap-o flavorings he used in his ice-cream base. The garnish was a strawberry that looked like it had been violated by a can of whipped cream.

It was truly unbearable to watch.

Shortly after this writing I learned that a new chef will be joining our boat – we shall see what is in store for our International Girl of Mystery…


Anonymous said...


What about the rest of the experience on the new phat boat? you no longer share it with us. I was thrilled to read your previous stories – some life journey in few months!


Anonymous said...

I hope things are going better for you now with the new chef. I really enjoy your updates! Food and Travel. What could be better :)


Deelight said...

I too am a life changer and worked two seasons as a Head Stewardess on a Motor Yacht. Looking for my next gig right now and to pass the time I'm getting into this blogging world. I was so pleased to find your site. I spent a this afternoon thoroughly enjoying this read. I am looking for my next gig here in Antibes where you are headed. I find the produce in France is not especially tasty. In fact, my boyfriend and I travel to Ventimiglia, Italy for our produce whenever we can because the Sicilian produce you get there actually tastes like fruit and veg. Good Luck over here and I hope your chef works out.

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